I am not pleased with the fact that I did not keep up with this blog while I was pregnant. Some excuses I could give are:
- I had a very hard time with vomiting and dizziness throughout pregnancy
- I moved into a house with my baby’s father early this year and we were quite busy getting the house and everything prepared for her arrival.
- I was busy learning how to take care of a baby while also getting the rest I need.
But really why give excuses? If it’s important to me then I should have found the time. I have semi-recently began writing in a notebook. Writing really helps me to put together all of these separate things that I experience or hear into grander thoughts or discoveries and that is important to me. I started writing again because I was very upset about something and wanted to try to look at the issue through my higher self and leave my ego out of the picture. Our trials give us motivation to turn to writing, God, spirituality, etc. when we are weak, but I would like to be the kind of person that is steady in my faith and in my practice through the good times and bad.
With all of that being said, here I am. I am here now.
Being pregnant was a very spiritual experience for me. I was generally in a place of love and trust, rather than fear. I grew a lot.
Some of the things that I did while I was pregnant that fueled my expansion (in no particular order of significance) were:
- Reading this book aloud. It has a lot of meditations and visualizations that I believe prepared my baby to enter this world, strengthened our bond, and enabled me communicate to this soul who was busy forming their own body within mine.
This book calls on the violet flame quite frequently. I was not familiar with this concept prior to reading this book so I will do my best to explain it.Violet is associated with spirituality, as it has the highest frequency in the visible spectrum. It is at the point of transition to the next octave of light. It has the power to transmute negative energy into positive energy (or darkness into light) by changing vibrations. So basically vibration is the speed where something moves back and forth. On an atomic level it’s the rate at which electrons orbit around the nucleus of an atom. Atoms are mostly empty space and between the atom and electrons, negative energy and karma can get stuck. When the atoms in our bodies become clogged with negativity, the electrons circle the atom more slowly. It affects our aura and soon we will begin to resonate with this negativity and have a lower vibration. The violet flame has the power to transmute this energy into light, which decreases the atom’s density and allows for the electrons to move more freely. Their speed/vibration increases and so does ours resulting in you having a higher vibration. When you have a higher vibration, there is more spiritual energy in your body.
- The Law of One
If you are not familiar with “The Law of One”, it is a series of books filled with material that is channeled eternal knowledge through a group called “Ra”. It’s difficult for me to explain, but this information on all that is rings very true within my heart and soul. You can look up keywords from the books here. I searched for keywords such as “parent” and “birth” in attempt to discover what my true role is as a parent and mother. Here are some excerpts that stand out:
42.20 Questioner: Thank you. Using the teach/learning relationship of parent to its child, what type of actions would demonstrate the activation of each energy center in sequence from red through violet?
Ra: I am Ra. This shall be the last full query of this working.
The entity, child or adult, as you call it, is not an instrument to be played. The appropriate teach/learning device of parent to child is the open-hearted beingness of the parent and the total acceptance of the beingness of the child. This will encompass whatever material the child entity has brought into the life experience in this plane.
There are two things especially important in this relationship other than the basic acceptance of the child by the parent. Firstly, the experience of whatever means the parent uses to worship and give thanksgiving to the One Infinite Creator, should if possible be shared with the child entity upon a daily basis, as you would say. Secondly, the compassion of parent to child may well be tempered by the understanding that the child entity shall learn the biases of service to others or service to self from the parental other-self. This is the reason that some discipline is appropriate in the teach/learning. This does not apply to the activation of any one energy center for each entity is unique and each relationship with self and other-self doubly unique. The guidelines given are only general for this reason.
21.10 Questioner: When incarnation ceases to become automatic I am assuming that the entity can decide when he needs to reincarnate for the benefit of his own learning. Does he also select his parents?
Ra: I am Ra. This is correct.
Questioner: As an entity in this density grows from childhood, he becomes more aware of his responsibilities. Is there an age below which an entity is not responsible for his actions, or is he responsible from the time of birth?
Ra: I am Ra. An entity incarnating upon the Earth plane becomes conscious of self at a varying point in its time/space progress through the continuum. This may have a median, shall we say, of approximately fifteen of your months. Some entities become conscious of self at a period closer to incarnation, some at a period farther from this event. In all cases responsibility then becomes retroactive from that point backwards in the continuum so that distortions are to be understood by the entity and dissolved as the entity learns.
48.7 Questioner: Thank you. I would like to take as an example an entity, at birth, who is roughly high on the seniority list for positive polarization and possible harvestability at the end of this cycle and follow a full cycle of his experience starting before his incarnation— which body is activated, process of becoming incarnate, the activation of the third-density physical body, process as the body moves through this density and is acted upon by catalyst, and then the process of death, and the activation of the various bodies so that we make a full circuit from a point prior to incarnation back around through incarnation and death and back to that position you might say in one cycle of incarnation in this density. Could you do that for me?
Ra: I am Ra. Your query is most distorted for it assumes that creations are alike. Each mind/body/spirit complex has its own patterns of activation and its own rhythms of awakening. The important thing for harvest is the harmonious balance between the various energy centers of the mind/body/spirit complex. This is to be noted as of relative import. We grasp the thrust of your query and will make a most general answer stressing the unimportance of such arbitrary generalizations.
The entity, before incarnation, dwells in the appropriate, shall we say, place in time/space. The true color type of this location will be dependent upon the entity’s needs. Those entities, for instance which, being Wanderers, have the green, blue, or indigo true-color core of mind/body/spirit complex will have rested therein.
Entrance into incarnation requires the investment or activation of the indigo-ray or etheric body for this is the form maker. The young or small physical mind/body/spirit complex has the seven energy centers potentiated before the birthing process. There are also analogs in time/space of these energy centers corresponding to the seven energy centers in each of the seven true-color densities. Thus in the microcosm exists all the experience that is prepared. It is as though the infant contains the universe.
The patterns of activation of an entity of high seniority will undoubtedly move with some rapidity to the green-ray level which is the springboard to primary blue. There is always some difficulty in penetrating blue primary energy for it requires that which your people have in great paucity; that is, honesty. Blue ray is the ray of free communication with self and with other-self. Having accepted that an harvestable or nearly harvestable entity will be working from this green-ray springboard one may then posit that the experiences in the remainder of the incarnation will be focused upon activation of the primary blue ray of freely given communication, of indigo ray, that of freely shared intelligent energy, and if possible, moving through this gateway, the penetration of violet-ray intelligent infinity. This may be seen to be manifested by a sense of the consecrate or hallowed nature of everyday creations and activities.
Upon the bodily complex death, as you call this transition, the entity will immediately, upon realization of its state, return to the indigo form-maker body and rest therein until the proper future placement is made.
Here we have the anomaly of harvest. In harvest the entity will then transfer its indigo body into violet-ray manifestation as seen in true-color yellow. This is for the purpose of gauging the harvestability of the entity. After this anomalous activity has been carefully completed, the entity will move into indigo body again and be placed in the correct true-color locus in space/time and time/space at which time the healings and learn/teachings necessary shall be completed and further incarnation needs determined.
31.5 Questioner: If a sexual energy transfer occurs in green ray— and I am assuming in this case that there is no red-ray energy transfer— does this mean it is impossible then for this particular transfer to include fertilization and the birthing of an entity?
Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. There is always the red-ray energy transfer due to the nature of the body complex. The random result of this energy transfer will be as it will be, as a function of the possibility of fertilization at a given time in a given pairing of entities. The green-ray energy transfer occurs due to the vibratory rate of each entity being undistorted in any vital sense by the yellow- or orange-ray energies; thus the gift, shall we say, being given freely, no payment being requested either of the body, of the mind, or of the spirit. The green ray is one of complete universality of love. This is a giving without expectation of return.
Ra: The origin of all energy is the action of free will upon love. The nature of all energy is light. The means of its ingress into the mind/body/spirit complex is duple.
Firstly, there is the inner light which is Polaris of the self, the guiding star. This is the birthright and true nature of all entities. This energy dwells within.
The second point of ingress is the polar opposite of the North Star, shall we say, and may be seen, if you wish to use the physical body as an analog for the magnetic field, as coming through the feet from the earth and through the lower point of the spine. This point of ingress of the universal light energy is undifferentiated until it begins its filtering process through the energy centers. The requirements of each center and the efficiency with which the individual has learned to tap into the inner light determine the nature of the use made by the entity of these instreamings.
- Reading and listening to information coming out from David Wilcock and Corey Goode
There are some changes taking place in the world right now. There is hope and a new beginning in store for us/our world when the truth about who we are and what our place in the solar system is disclosed. I believe that the Sphere Being Alliance and Blue Avians are here to help us on various levels as they have done in the past. Check out this blog post by William Henry if you want to see proof of these entities being a part of our human history. I just read the transcripts of Cosmic Disclosure now though as I cancelled a lot of extraneous recurring payments when I became pregnant.
- The RobCast
This podcast has helped me to learn so much about God, the Bible, life, myself, others. It is so meaningful to me. It has led to countless transcendent or “a-ha” moments for me. I am typically able to see things in a new way and apply the information to my life or a current situation. If the episode doesn’t resonate with me (happens very rarely), it usually will when I randomly go back and listen to it when I’m out of new RobCast episodes. It’s like I wasn’t ready for the information at the time or something. His words have changed my life, attitude, and beliefs exponentially (for the better).
All of that spiritual expansion that I experienced while pregnant; however, could never have prepared me for the beautiful transformation that occurred during and after the birth of my daughter, Nora Elizabeth. It has been extremely difficult at times, but the magic and the love that comes out is so amazing.
Her birth was fast. I was in back labor all day on April 14, 2016. I called my OB early in the day and said that my back was hurting so intensely to the point where nothing would help. They said since I am not having contractions then I was probably just uncomfortable because I was 9 months pregnant. I called my grandma in the morning and she took me to get a heating pad, then took me to her house for lunch with her and my grandfather. I had her take me home later in the afternoon around 2 or 3. I tried to get comfortable, but just kept becoming more and more uncomfortable. Around 5 pm I started feeling like I may be having contractions. I wasn’t that sure of myself considering I had been wondering for weeks if what I was feeling at each moment was a contraction. I called my mom and by around 5:30, her and Brad (Nora’s father) were on their way to come pick me up as I was fairly certain this was the real deal. We arrived at the hospital around 6 pm, where I was taken to the triage area for a very long time. The nurse was in no hurry after she saw who I was. I had been in false labor the previous Saturday, so we went up to the hospital and she helped me in triage then. I was very uncomfortable, constantly altering my position. I felt like I had to poop so bad and I wanted to get it out so I wouldn’t poop while giving birth like you always hear about. It was such an intense pressure. Then I started bleeding. They finally checked me and I was dilated to a 4 (you start pushing at a 9 or 10). I couldn’t believe I was only at a 4, but the fact that I was meant that I was in active labor and able to be admitted. They took me to my room. I told them that I was ready for my epidural and they said it was too early and that I could have it after I finished one bag of fluids. I finally did and got the epidural. Right after that the doctor came to check me to see how I was progressing. I heard her say “Oh my god,” which is something you never want to hear your doctor say (but especially so when you’re having a baby). I asked “what?” and she said that it was a 9 and that it was time to push. She ordered a nurse to go get some other nurses to prepare the room quickly. I didn’t feel ready at that point. I previously expected birth to be an hour or two, but was told in my birthing classes that labor would take like 8 hours. I freaked out. I was like “I can’t do this” & “I’ve changed my mind about this” which came out of a place of extreme pain and fear. Although it is kind of funny now based on how impractical it was, it was not how I had hoped to handle things. After I accepted the fact that there was no going back, I pushed. All I wanted was for it to be over. I wanted this baby out of me. So I pushed and I pushed and I pushed. I never thought it would be over, but I remembered from Kimmy Schmidt how she said that you can do anything for 10 seconds. That’s how I made it through. Nora was put on my chest at 8:36 pm and it was the most amazing feeling in the world to finally see her, after months and months of wondering what she would look like, what she would be like, etc. She was beautiful. I gave birth to the placenta very fast and was glad that at least the epidural kicked in now that the doctor was stitching me up. Soon the doctor expressed deep concern by the fact that I was bleeding so much and would not stop. She kept pushing down on my uterus in an attempt to make it clamp down like it’s supposed to. I was, once again, in so much pain. I told them that I felt very uncomfortable being around Nora in the state I was in, so at that point one of the nurses did all of the things you do to babies after they are first born and Brad did skin to skin. They took me in for emergency surgery. I had lost a lot of blood, but luckily during the surgery they were able to stop the bleeding. They told me that I had almost required a blood transfusion.
Today, Nora is about two and half months old. She is an angel. I have never felt this type of love before being a mom. It is so protective, all-encompassing, unconditional, and eternal. Her coming here means so much to so many people.
Another thing that I want to mention is that preparing to become a parent with Brad had brought us a lot closer together, but when I see how he interacts with Nora, my love and admiration for him expands aggressively.